Merry Christmas

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Funny Finds

Merry Christmas!

I didn’t really want to burst your bubble but here is an article from FoxyGoddess.com that proves Santa isn’t real

I hope you all have a great Christmas and a happy new year! 2007 has been a pretty good year when you look back on it.

—-

As a result of an overwhelming lack of requests, and with research help from that renowned scientific journal, SPY magazine, I am pleased to present the annual scientific enquiry into Santa Claus.

1. Flying Reindeer

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer, which only Santa has ever seen.

2. Households

There are two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15 per cent of the total (378 million according to Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. This assumes there’s at least one good child in each.

3. Time

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas with which to work, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations, we will accept), we are now talking about 1.26km per household, a total trip of 121.5 million km, not counting stops to do what most of us *must* do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.. This means that Santa’s sleigh is moving at 1050km per second (3,780,000 km/h) - 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 44.1km per second (158, 760 km/h); a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 24km/h.

4. Payload

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (1kg), the sleigh is carrying 291,478.5 tonnes, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 136kg. Even granted that “flying reindeer” (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 320,626 tonnes. Again, for comparison, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5. Force

The sleigh, 320,171 tonnes, travelling at 1050km per second, creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces over 17,500 times greater than gravity. A 113 kg Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by almost 2 million Newtons of force.

In Conclusion:

If Santa ever DID exist/deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he’s dead now.

~ Found in a Victorian Mensa newsletter some years ago.

STORMS! WOOOT!

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: internet/computers, weather

Well it has been a while since we have had a storm like this. Oh, and I’ll just throw this out there - if you have been living under a rock for the past 5 or so years, Australia is going through the worst drought ever recorded.

I set my alarm for 10 am because I’m on holidays :p and it didn’t wake me up and then all of a sudden BOOM, I heard thunder and it shook the house at 10:20.

It’s kinda funny because it was hot yesterday and now it’s raining. Plus, it’s summer, not winter.

Anyway, I am still stuck with AAPT at the moment whom have put us down to 64kb per second, aka ISDN (in my opinion, ISDN should stand for something like…. IT STILL DOES NOTHING!)
I think TPG looks like a good company but would like to get your thoughts, here are two different, I guess you call them plans? http://tpg.com.au/voip/products_services.php?plan=500min

If ADSL 2 is available in our area we would get ADSL2+ /25GB with VoIP or we would get either Premium 8000
with VoIP or Premium 1500 + VoIP

Throttled Again OMG!

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: OMG

Alright, that has to be it, this is the fourth time throttled, yep.. I am back down on 64kbps!

I am going to have a look at TPG because they have much better plans.
The only downside is that TPG have contracts… though on the flip side we are using AAPT with no contracts but a cancellation fee…

I have heard good things about TPG and eve if we do go on a 6 month contract, I am sure we will be getting better speeds than this due to the bandwidth, I personally think it’s worth the risk of getting a dodgy ISP because this amount of bandwidth is ridiculous - for my standards and shared between two computers during the day.

Please share your opinions. Here are some links:
www.tpg.com.au
www.aapt.net.au

Christmas Theme

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Uncategorized

In the lead up to Christmas this year, I have uploaded a new Christmas theme for the next 2 weeks. In two weeks there should be a new New Years Theme, crossing over 3 days and then for the year 2008 there will be a brand new theme to freshen up the site!

Tell me what you think. In fact, please comment on which colour scheme you would like on a theme.

1. Orange/Black with White text
2. Blue/Black with White text
3. Green/Black with White text
(Black can also be a dark gray)

VT:1:MAGIC - Psychic Prediction

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Video Tutorials

Hello and welcome to the first edition of VT (Video Tutorial.) In this edition I am going to show you a simple card trick that many get fooled by… Psychic Prediction

This is my first go, believe it or not, at uploading to youtube… I also had to use windows movie maker.. grrr, it crashed when I hit open O.O

Please comment on youtube or on this post for tips and ideas, not only for the trick but the production in general.

NewAF Question

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: New Site Progress

Alright, well I am working on the new AF entertainment site and I am still wondering what format the URL’s should be in…

eg1)

domain.com/games/pacman/

eg2)

domain.com/games/pacman.html

Tell me which one, or your own one that you would prefer the site to have.

New Headset

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Gadgets

Woot! I finally broke my old, generic headset, it took less than 6 months, and no, I didn’t do it on purpose but I am really glad that they have broken.

I got myself a Logitech set of headphones, the same company that made the mouse that I am using.

For $35 I thought it was great, the sound is REALLY GREAT for that price escpeccially and it’s also USB (digital) instead of my old pair which is analogue.

Check out the Product Details Here.

For anybody looking for a reasonably cheep headset, I defiantly recommend these, and for those who know - you probably won’t be able to hear my birds as much in the background because it has noise cancellation.

Anyway, enough chat, I’m listening to my music :p

ZOMG! WHERE ARE MY POSTS!

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Server Issues

If you are reading this, I have had a server hiccup and am restoring posts that have been lost. Good ol’ google cache.

All posts are planned to be restored within the hour.

UPDATE: I am pretty sure everything, including most/all comments have been restored with the exception of one post which I’ll type up again in a moment.

Panasonic Future TV.. No Remote?

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: Gadgets

o.O was my original reaction.

Yes the TV looks awesome but I think we might be stepping back into the past, who wants to get up off the couch to use the TV, let alone play sport :p??? Hmm, there surely has to be a remote control but I can’t see anything in this clip.

EDIT: How are kids going to reach the clock (about 2 minutes in) WTF?

NEW AussieFeral Entertainment Site Update!

Author: Chris Morris  //  Category: New Site Progress, World Wide Web

Alright, well, here is my plan.

People have been waiting for the new AF entertainment site since about April, I’m sorry guys, it kept getting missed so I am putting tutnation production on hold until I get the new entertainment site working, don’t worry though, tutnation has got the basic features covered right now, so you can use it.

I plan to get the new AF site working in late December (as I am holidays) to mid January, THOUGH I am always getting my timing wrong for websites, so don’t be shocked if it is in Febuary.

WATCH THIS SPACE FOR UPDATES.